Belle is Back!

Open a bottle of the bubbly and pass around the cupcakes—my self-imposed hiatus is over!

I’ve been offline just under four weeks, but it feels like I’ve been away four months.

I needed the time to reflect, refocus, read, and just relax for awhile.

I reflected on the direction I want to take my blog and my writing, along with how I plan to get there. I refocused both my writing theme and my design elements. I read many many new blogs and finally decided on a few new ones to follow. I relaxed: I regularly went to bed by 11pm, I caught up on Pretty Little Liars (although now I’m behind again), I spent less time fighting on Jezebel, I enjoyed some spa & salon services, I continued the long but rewarding process of turning my apartment into a home, and I cuddled/enjoyed sexi time with Beau.

I usually watch it on Hulu.

I talked about life changes and blog changes in my first post of 2013, but I didn’t realize at the time how much I needed to step away from my blog in order to change it. Taking it offline for a few weeks has been a great chance to de-stress and tackle all my scattered ideas, one at a time, without worrying about updating regularly while I figured things out.

In summary form, these are all the exciting changes taking place at Finding My Virginity!

Finding My Virginity

The most obvious change is my new blog title and my own domain name! Inspired by Bonnie, I registered my own domain name within a few days of going offline. I spent hours and hours contemplating different titles and talking my favorites over with Beau. I wanted to move away from Confessions of a Virgin for a few reasons. One, it’s the same title as an adult film. Uhhh, not exactly what I want associated with my blog. Two, it’s very similar to another virginity blog on the market, which I swear I did not discover til after I’d already started my blog. Three, my writing has evolved beyond a confessional of all my “impure” thoughts and activities. So why “Finding My Virginity”? Stay tuned for a more detailed post!

Diverse Writing

Blog posts will definitely include more topics. Like decorating my apartment. And juggling two jobs. Working through my messy relationship with my twin brother. Reminiscing about my years in France. Reflecting on my religious beliefs. Hopefully I will be able to feature more guest posts(I have one submission that will be up soon—the writer has been very patient with me). Don’t worry, I will also resume my various blog series on online dating, virgin myths, boobs, consent, and more.

The Church of the Jacobins in Toulouse

Selling Out

I’m a sellout. There. I admitted it. It’s bad enough I participated in a giveaway that one time, but now I’ve bought an ad on Jessica Lynn Writes. And. I’m considering buying ads on a few other blogs. I also paid Natalie of 2317 Studio for my blog design. I originally contacted her to help me with a single CSS question that I thought would be very simple, we agreed upon a price for it, and then she found out it was not a simple CSS answer. Luckily, she already had this blog template in a nice gray hue similar to my old style, and she offered to customize it for me instead. I love what Natalie did, and the best part, I could still tweak a few things on my own! Aka I made many of the fonts pink…

Also, I have a new button. Please grab it!!! If you have my old button, please please please switch out with my new one! Let me know if you’re interested in swapping buttons. (That sounds really dirty).

<a href="http://www.findingmyvirginity.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" alt="Finding My Virginity" src="http://i1167.photobucket.com/albums/q633/belle_vierge/ffa0b64a-44e9-4daa-a6ca-aaaf07f70431.jpg" /></a>

As always, I’m on twitter, and you should definitely follow me @belle_vierge there. I tweet obsessively, probably because it’s easier to write out 140 characters than 650+ words.

I realize this was not the most exciting of posts, but I promise to elaborate on everything in a fun, exciting way soon! This was just an introduction to all the awesome changes happening with Belle.

It’s good to be back. ♥

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My First Date with My Boyfriend

July 29th.

One year.

Wow.

A year ago today, the boyfriend and I had our first date. We had been emailing each other almost daily for several weeks, first via okcupid and then with our gmail accounts.

I wore my new black sundress from Target, a dress that is still one of my favorites. He wore a red golf shirt that I still don't like and jeans.

We met outside a restaurant not far from my apartment. He motioned to shake my hand, but I hugged him instead. He was surprised, and I laughed.

We talked nonstop throughout dinner and for who knows how long afterwards, partly hoping the rain would stop and partly not wanting the date to end.

Unbeknownst to me, the not-yet-boyfriend stared at my cleavage unabashedly while I looked over the menu, but he swears it was my excellent conversational skills that won me a second date.

I wanted to kiss him good-night, but between the rain, and the smokers outside the door, and his to-go box, and my purse... it just didn't feel right. I hugged him again instead.

I was giddy all night.

Back at my apartment, I called my new best friends Hardy* and James* to hang out, since my roomie/bestie Lauren* was gone that weekend. I ended up meeting them at a party with a bunch of their fraternity brothers. I let one guy blatantly hit on me and buy me drinks, and I shamelessly flirted with all the brothers. I gave another guy my number, although, in my defense, I thought he was gay, so I thought he literally just wanted to hang out to practice French.

I obviously did not intend to start anything serious with the not-yet-boyfriend. Yes, we had an amazing first date. Yes, I wanted to see him again. But I was also leaving the Midwest just three weeks later, August 18th, and moving to the Northeast August 28th for ten months. Dating him was just for funsies. I had zero intention of falling in love.

But I did. :) And I've never been so happy in my life.

As you read this post, I'm driving back to the Midwest; back to Lauren, Hardy, and James; back to a fun, open-minded city with tons of young people; and, most importantly, back to the boyfriend.

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Me & OKC (Part Three): In Which I Learn a Valuable Lesson About Dating Historians

Confession One: I may be a nerd at heart, and I may be dating a nerd, and I may sometimes exhibit an intellectual elitism, BUT. This story goes to show that intelligence is not everything. Not even close.

Confession Two: I don't have much dating experience. At all. Not including dates with the boyfriend, I have been on three official dates. This story is about my second date.

It wasn't supposed to be a date.

I had agreed to hanging out, not going out. Huge difference in the connotation between those two very similar expressions.

John* was living outside of Paris at the time, doing research at the National Archives. He was a grad student from Yale (working on his Ph.D. in history), skinny, bespectacled—my kind of guy, right? He contacted me on okcupid a week or two before my winter break,** during which I had plans to travel to Toulouse, Marseille, Aix-en-Provence, Nice, Paris, and Saint Germain-en-laye. His opening message referred to my admiration for George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four and linked to one of Orwell's essays. After a few brief exchanges, John told me that if I were ever in Paris, I should let him know so we could meet up. I was a little paranoid about meeting up with a guy so shortly after initial contact, but I didn't know when I would next be in Paris, so I agreed to meet him during my vacation.

So, I have since deleted our initial exchange that took place via okcupid, but we very quickly moved to gmail. Thus I can share with y'all this little gem.

“Also, there is a marvelous little bookstore right across the Rue des Archives. I'm not suggesting going there, because girls tend to look at me funny when I suggest a bookstore as an appropriate venue for a first date, but a much, much nerdier person than I am might conceivably have visited the one-euro book box on the sidewalk outside every day for the past eight months while trying to gather his courage to confront the slightly terrifying person who runs the place for long enough to find out where the cash register is.”

1) This is when John elevated our meeting to a date. 2) How could I demote our first encounter after he so cutely suggested we visit a bookstore?***

I know at this point he sounds like the man of my dreams. And yet...

Things started off very awkwardly.

I held out my hand to shake hands when we finally met in person... but he took my hand and kissed it. I'm sure some girls would find this very charming, but I did not.

The conversation would have been fine, I guess, if he had been capable of discussing anything other than history. That was it. Maybe a few anecdotes from undergrad or childhood, but otherwise, it was nonstop history the entire time.

My degree is in history. I love history. I want to be an archivist or teach high school/university history. I will talk your ear off about history when given the chance.

But I do not want to spend three or so hours on a first date discussing history.

Like this, but with history. And with one reluctant participant.

Especially with an arrogant know-it-all who completely dismissed all my thoughts on applying to grad school, continuously acted surprised at my genuine passion and knowledge of history, and yet looked at me with condescension that I hadn't learned more or written even longer papers during undergrad. He had studied at Oxford during undergrad. The European system of higher education is very different than the American one. Jerk.

I mean, he was funny, and he was smart. He answered all my questions about applying to grad school, and when offering to pay for my lunch, he did qualify it with “Unless that offends you as a feminist,” which was sweet.

But.

Ugh.

That's not enough. I kept zoning out. There was no spark. I gave him a very intentional one-armed hug so he wouldn't try to kiss me. Buh-bye.

Except...

“Hello again! I had a great time on Friday, and was wondering if you might care to watch a movie with me via Skype later this week? An American in Paris, perhaps?”

Oh.

No.

We went on one date. C'était tout. And he suggested watching a movie together via skype? C'était trop!

Two days later, I politely but vaguely replied.

“I had a nice time as well. That sounds interesting in theory, but not really practical in practice. How would that work? Anyway, this week I'm prepping for an interview. Hardly the most riveting of activities, but it's taking up most of my free time.”

He got the hint. That was that.

Thus ends not my chronicles in online dating, but at least the French chapter of my adventures. When we next meet our heroine, she'll be interning in Cool City, The Midwest and making poor romantic decisions after first Mark* tells her he only loves her as a friend and then Ron* tells her he's not in a good place to be in a relationship.

*Fake names yada yada yada

**Teach English in France for seven months? Receive seven and a half weeks paid vacation. 

***Going to a bookstore will always be a perfect date for me.

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