Belle is Back!

Open a bottle of the bubbly and pass around the cupcakes—my self-imposed hiatus is over!

I’ve been offline just under four weeks, but it feels like I’ve been away four months.

I needed the time to reflect, refocus, read, and just relax for awhile.

I reflected on the direction I want to take my blog and my writing, along with how I plan to get there. I refocused both my writing theme and my design elements. I read many many new blogs and finally decided on a few new ones to follow. I relaxed: I regularly went to bed by 11pm, I caught up on Pretty Little Liars (although now I’m behind again), I spent less time fighting on Jezebel, I enjoyed some spa & salon services, I continued the long but rewarding process of turning my apartment into a home, and I cuddled/enjoyed sexi time with Beau.

I usually watch it on Hulu.

I talked about life changes and blog changes in my first post of 2013, but I didn’t realize at the time how much I needed to step away from my blog in order to change it. Taking it offline for a few weeks has been a great chance to de-stress and tackle all my scattered ideas, one at a time, without worrying about updating regularly while I figured things out.

In summary form, these are all the exciting changes taking place at Finding My Virginity!

Finding My Virginity

The most obvious change is my new blog title and my own domain name! Inspired by Bonnie, I registered my own domain name within a few days of going offline. I spent hours and hours contemplating different titles and talking my favorites over with Beau. I wanted to move away from Confessions of a Virgin for a few reasons. One, it’s the same title as an adult film. Uhhh, not exactly what I want associated with my blog. Two, it’s very similar to another virginity blog on the market, which I swear I did not discover til after I’d already started my blog. Three, my writing has evolved beyond a confessional of all my “impure” thoughts and activities. So why “Finding My Virginity”? Stay tuned for a more detailed post!

Diverse Writing

Blog posts will definitely include more topics. Like decorating my apartment. And juggling two jobs. Working through my messy relationship with my twin brother. Reminiscing about my years in France. Reflecting on my religious beliefs. Hopefully I will be able to feature more guest posts(I have one submission that will be up soon—the writer has been very patient with me). Don’t worry, I will also resume my various blog series on online dating, virgin myths, boobs, consent, and more.

The Church of the Jacobins in Toulouse

Selling Out

I’m a sellout. There. I admitted it. It’s bad enough I participated in a giveaway that one time, but now I’ve bought an ad on Jessica Lynn Writes. And. I’m considering buying ads on a few other blogs. I also paid Natalie of 2317 Studio for my blog design. I originally contacted her to help me with a single CSS question that I thought would be very simple, we agreed upon a price for it, and then she found out it was not a simple CSS answer. Luckily, she already had this blog template in a nice gray hue similar to my old style, and she offered to customize it for me instead. I love what Natalie did, and the best part, I could still tweak a few things on my own! Aka I made many of the fonts pink…

Also, I have a new button. Please grab it!!! If you have my old button, please please please switch out with my new one! Let me know if you’re interested in swapping buttons. (That sounds really dirty).

<a href="http://www.findingmyvirginity.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" alt="Finding My Virginity" src="http://i1167.photobucket.com/albums/q633/belle_vierge/ffa0b64a-44e9-4daa-a6ca-aaaf07f70431.jpg" /></a>

As always, I’m on twitter, and you should definitely follow me @belle_vierge there. I tweet obsessively, probably because it’s easier to write out 140 characters than 650+ words.

I realize this was not the most exciting of posts, but I promise to elaborate on everything in a fun, exciting way soon! This was just an introduction to all the awesome changes happening with Belle.

It’s good to be back. ♥

You have read this article blog readers / BOOBS / consent / family / feminism / France / friends / guest post / JCP / Mythbusters: Virgin Edition / online dating / Pretty Little Liars / real life / religion / television / Toulouse / twin brother with the title real life. You can bookmark this page URL https://myclosetnadinesh.blogspot.com/2013/03/belle-is-back.html. Thanks!

Guess Who's Back...

Surprise! I'm online a little bit before March 1, primarily because I sponsored my first blog--eeks! (See my ad on Jessica Lynn's blog here!) And since my ad went up today, I didn't want any curious readers to show up and see a locked down blog. 

My "official" return is March 1, when I will announce all the changes beyond the aesthetics. 

Speaking of aesthetics, did y'all see what an awesome job Natalie of 2317 Studio did?! More deets on this decision to come.

I've missed blogging this month, but I needed the time to refocus and decide what direction I want to take my blog.

It's good to be back!

You have read this article blog readers / real life with the title real life. You can bookmark this page URL https://myclosetnadinesh.blogspot.com/2013/02/guess-who-back.html. Thanks!

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: I'm a Size 2

The Good: Saturday I start training for my new part-time job as the “Front Desk Specialist” at the JC Penney salon near where I work my full-time job. The extra money from working 15 hours a week will be nice, but I’m mostly excited about the health care benefits. I’m still on my parents’ insurance, but I know I cost them a lot of money. Plus, since I no longer live in the South, I’m out-of-network. Getting my own health insurance will be life-changing.

Of course, dress will be a little different than my current job, where I show up in jeans and a hoodie most days. For my new job, dress code is business casual, in a black, white, and gray color scheme. This would have been a problem for me during my pre-French days, but my current winter wardrobe is pretty dark after absorbing Parisian fashion. I have several cute tops that will all be suitable.

The Bad: However, the only appropriate bottoms I own are two identical black pencil skirts. A pair of nice black slacks was definitely in order. Thus tonight my best friend and former roommate/co-intern, Lauren, and I hit up The Loft, a store we both adore. We had both received an email this week announcing 60% off sale items and 30% off new arrivals. Perfect!

Their petites section had two different styles of slacks. I tried them both on, and Lauren & I agreed one was better than the other. I purchased them along with three black/white/gray tops that were all on sale. I dropped $100 on the whole purchase, which isn’t too bad considering I bought only quality work clothes, but isn't great when you're trying to save money.

The Ugly: I’m a size 2. For the first time since I was 16.

I’m a size 2 because I still haven’t gained back the weightI lost in November. I’m a size 2 because I was sick. I’m a size 2 because I might still be sick.

I know it’s hard to believe, especially for my readers struggling with weight loss, but being unable to gain weight is terrifying. It is worse than trying to lose weight. I should know. Past treatment for Crohn’s has caused me to gain weight, and I hated the struggle of working out & eating well just to maintain an “average” body. But it was never as bad as trying to gain weight.

I can’t even feel vain about being skinny. I lost my ass! It was never a big booty, but it was always nice and proportional to the rest of my curves. It’s almost flat now. My boobs are less full too, although, let’s be honest, they are still the envy of women everywhere and the fantasy of many men.

Please, dear God, let me gain 5 lbs. Please, dear God, let me be healthy again. I can’t be sick again.

I just can’t.

You have read this article best friend: Lauren / BOOBS / butt / Crohn's / France / JCP / real life with the title real life. You can bookmark this page URL https://myclosetnadinesh.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-good-bad-and-ugly-i-size-2.html. Thanks!

New Year, New Apartment, New Belle

Wow, it's 2013 already. When did that happen?

2012 was crazy. Just like 2011. And 2010.

In 2012, I lived in New York for the first two months, then Toronto for four months, home in the South for three weeks, and finally in the Midwest for five months, with a whole week of that being in my new apartment.

I went from being a live-in au pair to doing social media and assorted IT stuff for a start-up company. Yeah, I'm still confused about that too.

The boyfriend and I went from very long-distance (an airplane) to long-distance (a six-hour drive) to medium-distance (driving two hours!).

My twin brother was diagnosed with a brain tumor that miraculously went away with surgery.

My car died. I became an emotional wreck. The boyfriend gave me a car for Christmas. I finally figured out humility. 

Both my twitter followers and blog readers grew by leaps and bounds. I expanded my blog posts a little bit. I don't always talk about only virginity. I write about books, and feminism, and family, and sex, and politics, and fun stuff like that. 

I even GULP participated in a giveaway.* You know, one of those shameless promotions to gain followers who sometimes keep following you, but often unfollow you when the giveaway is over? You know, one of those fun things where you can be generous to other people?

Awesome giveaway hosted by Bonnie!

I even survived the Apocalypse!

I live a crazy life. It's how I roll. I'm pretty sure 2013 will be just as up and down as my previous years. Some changes I can anticipate. Others will be unexpected challenges.

For my readers, you'll notice a few changes. I'm not going to focus as much on only blogging about sex/virginity. I did expand some this past year, but I feel more comfortable now writing like a real blogger, and not just some funny academic essayist. Of course, this is partly because I will be writing a column for HI! Magazine. A funny academic essayist column on virginity. So... there's that.

As much as I will strive to keep up my 3-7 posts a month range I've got going on, I can't make any promises. See, another change I'm (hopefully) making is getting a second part-time job for a little extra spending money... plus health insurance. This will eat into my writing time. 

That, and my only New Year's resolution is to read Les Misérables. En français. Also, my non-resolution, just regular goal of reading 53 books this year. I read 51 last year, with a goal of 52. Reading is important.

Edit: I totally forgot to mention one of the biggest changes. I didn't just move into a new apartment--I moved into my first apartment without a roommate. Turning it into my own little home will also be totally time-consuming.

All that said, big changes are in store for Belle and Beau** in 2013. Who knows, we might even experience coitus for the first time.***

Whatever happens, I'll be here, blogging away. This is, after all...

Confessions of a Virgin. 

*When the boyfriend donated to How to Lose Your Virginity, our prize packages included two cherry pendants. I gave one away. I briefly reached 51 blog followers by participating--I'm down to 48 now. But. I'm following one young woman who followed me and gave me crazy-awesome compliments on my blog. Genna's super-cool.
**If you're new here, that's me and the boyfriend.
***Kidding. Mostly. 

You have read this article Apocalypse / blog readers / Canada / feminism / HI Magazine / How to Lose Your Virginity / humility / literature / real life / twin brother with the title real life. You can bookmark this page URL https://myclosetnadinesh.blogspot.com/2013/01/new-year-new-apartment-new-belle.html. Thanks!

Thankful for Love and Orgasms

Well, it took about an hour of checking facebook, twitter, my email, and my bank accounts, but my heart rate has slowed back down to normal, and I no longer have waves of pleasure moving through my body.

(If you hadn’t already guessed, this blog post will be a little more… explicit, than usual).

Thanksgiving has always been a special holiday. A time for family, for food, for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (in which I danced my senior year of high school, thankyouverymuch), and for reflecting on what really matters.

After last year, however, Thanksgiving is no longer just one of many holidays during which I eat yummy food with loved ones, but it has elevated to a sort of anniversary for the boyfriend and me.

I spent both this and last Thanksgiving with the boyfriend and his family. Last year, in bed, after only the second of many sexi times to cum,* the boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time.

I can’t believe it’s been a whole year since then. We’ve gone from seeing each other every three weeks if we were lucky, and every three months if we were not, to spending every weekend (and occasional weekdays) together. I’ve gone from googling “how to give a blow job” to making the boyfriend moan within seconds. My once-quiet, rather pleasant orgasms are now accompanied by gasps and moans as my entire body spasms in pleasure. I’ve stopped secretly daydreaming about our wedding—we now openly discuss the details.

So much has changed, yet the most important aspect of our relationship remains the same.

We are still completely, head over heels, in love with each other.

This week has been a difficult one for me. My car broke down on the way to work Monday. On Tuesday, I found out the repair would cost approximately $4,430, aka well more than my car is worth. I spent most of Wednesday sobbing uncontrollably.

But I’ve learned a few things this week.

• I don’t have to do everything on my own.
• I can depend on others and still be independent.
• Accepting help is not a sign of weakness.
• Neither is crying.
• My boyfriend still loves me even after ignoring his calls, being passive-aggressive, and looking like a hot-teary-mess.

I also had to remind myself that, in the grand scheme of things, not having my own car is a minor problem. This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for the major things.

• My twin brother no longer has a brain tumor.
• My Crohn’s is still in remission, and I’m only taking pentasa.
• My little brother is having an amazing experience in Australia, where he’s started dating his first real girlfriend—from Mexico.
• I have a job. That I can mostly do from home.
• I have a good boss and good co-workers.
• I am surrounded by friends and family who love me, including my amazing twitter/blog friends.
• And did I mention that I have a boyfriend who loves me, who respects me, who understands me, who spoils me, who finds me sexy, who turns me on, who makes me laugh, who wants to marry me?

Not having a car is just a minor roadblock along an otherwise pretty amazing journey. This Thanksgiving, more than anything, I’m just thankful to have the boyfriend by my side.

*I can't resist a good pun.

You have read this article blow jobs / Crohn's / family / friends / kid brother / kiss: man friend / love / marriage / personal post / real life / Thanksgiving / twin brother with the title real life. You can bookmark this page URL https://myclosetnadinesh.blogspot.com/2012/11/thankful-for-love-and-orgasms.html. Thanks!

Wasting Your Vote is BULLSHIT: How Voting Is Like Sex

Have you seen the controversial ad comparing voting for the first time to having sex for the first time?

It's received a lot of attention, and rightly so. From Republican outrage* "Oh, look, the Democratic Party reduces women to their sexual status too!" to this well-written article on hipster sexism.

I don't condemn the ad as objectification of women. Lena Dunham is an extremely self-aware woman who knows what she's doing.

But I don't think the ad goes far enough in comparing voting to sex. I think I can do better.

1. A lot of people are saying, "Don't waste your vote. Don't vote for a third party candidate, especially in a swing state." A lot of people will also tell you not to waste your virginity on someone who isn't your spouse. Both of these statements are BULLSHIT!** Vote for whom you want. Sleep with whom you want.
2. The media has a lot to say about both Romney and Obama and the people who support them. And if you're somewhere in the middle, well, you're insulted by them all. Sound familiar? It's a LOT like the prude/slut dichotomy. As famously said in The Breakfast Club, "It's a double-edged sword... if you say you haven't, you're a prude. If you say you have, you're a slut. It's a trap. You want to but you can't, and when you do you wish you didn't, right?"Guess what. Voting for Obama (or having sex) doesn't make you a bad person. Voting for Romney (or not having sex) doesn't make you a bad person. Voting for Gary Johnson (or only having non-sex sex) makes you fucking awesome.
3. The media is also spewing a bunch of lies about both candidates, who are lying themselves. The media lies about abstinence and sex, too. Like that if you don't abstain, you ruin yourself for your husband. Like that everyone is having sex except you. You need to do your own research about the political candidates and where they stand on the issues. Similarly, you need to figure out your own reasons for abstaining or having sex and make that decision with a partner who respects your choice.
4. Voting for the first time is a big deal, just like having sex for the first time is a big deal. But for the second time is important, and the third time, and the fourth... Voting is NEVER unimportant. My first kiss was a big deal to me, but each subsequent make-out session has also helped shape who I am now as a sexual being.
5. It's up to you if you want to talk about who you voted for. It's up to you if you want to talk about your sexual experience (or lack thereof).
6. Your friends and family will try to pressure you to vote a certain way. You need to vote for the candidate who you think is best. Some men (or women) might try to pressure you into having sex. You need to have sex only when you think you're ready.

I had a lot of fun comparing voting to sex, but I hope it was also a playful learning experience. 

I've already submitted my absentee ballot. I voted for Gary Johnson. As a libertarian, I cannot in good conscience vote for someone who supports big government, which both Romney and Obama do, albeit in different ways.

But the point of this post isn't to tell you to vote for Gary Johnson.***

The point is for you to VOTE. Educate yourself on the issues, find out where each candidate stands on the issues--especially your state and city candidates--and vote accordingly.

Voting is one of the greatest freedoms we have. Don't waste it.

*Yeah, like I actually believe the Republican Party cares about this.
**TM Penn & Teller, who are both fucking awesome.
***I'm kidding. You should vote for Gary Johnson. You won't regret it.

You have read this article advice / family / feminism / friends / making out / movies / politics / prude / real life / slut / voting with the title real life. You can bookmark this page URL https://myclosetnadinesh.blogspot.com/2012/11/wasting-your-vote-is-bullshit-how.html. Thanks!

And the Liebster Blog Award Goes To... Belle Vierge!

Y'all.

The funny and colorful Kristen over at Mama Winkle's Blog nominated me for a blog award!

The Liebster Blog Award is given to bloggers by bloggers. It is a way to acknowledge each other and say “You're all sorts of awesome." It's only for blogs with 200 or less followers, so it’s also a great way to spread the word about smaller blogs and get them more readers and followers! When you receive the award, you post 11 random facts about yourself and answer 11 questions from the person(s) who nominated you. You pass the award onto 11 other blogs (make sure you tell them you nominated them!) and ask them 11 questions. You’re not allowed to nominate the blog(s) who nominated you!

My 11 Random Facts:

1. Harry Potter is my favorite book series, hands down, but Philippa Gregory is my all-time favorite author.
 

2. I love pretty much any beverage or food with lime. Diet Coke with Lime, gin & tonic, Bud Light Lime. I haven't bought them in ages, but the tortilla chips with lime. Yummy.
 

3. Before last summer, I thought koozies were the most stupid thing ever. But now I have at least one in my purse at any given point in time, and I rarely drink canned beverages without one.

From @SrattyStyle

4. I started questioning my sexuality in middle school. I finally realized I was bisexual halfway through my senior year of high school. I never told a soul until one fateful evening in London, many many years after I'd graduated high school.
 

5. I like to eat fresh fruits and vegetables, but I don't like to prepare them.
 

6. I miss being paid to cook dinner for myself and three kids. I ate so healthily last year. I'm already struggling to maintain a good diet cooking for one. =/ 

Roast beef with roasted carrots and potatoes.

7. I have a thing for elves. I think Legolas is the sexiest Orlando Bloom has ever been.
 

8. I am so blessed to have the friends that I do, but sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of good friends I have. I worry that I'm not a good enough friend to them. I wish I could spend more time with each of them.
 

9. I don't understand people who carry a balance on their credit card unless it was for an unexpected emergency expense. Example: when I had to pay for six cavities all at once. Or for a gap in income. I get paid this week for the first time in seven weeks. I'll pay off my Visa in full easily, but I'll have to carry a balance for a while on my American Express (but I currently have 0% APR). And this wouldn't be an issue at all if I hadn't needed to spend about $500 in medical expenses. It's just not that hard to spend only what you earn.
 

10. Sometimes the boyfriend and I skype, but don't really talk. We each do our own thing and just comment if we feel like sharing something. I just like seeing the little video of him in the corner of my screen. #lesigh
 

11. I calculate my gas mileage every time I fill up. Lately it's been really good, about 28-31 MPG, but today it was only 25 MPG. To quote my bestie: boo hiss!

These are the questions Kristen asked me: 

1) What is your age? 20-something ;)

2) Where did you grow up? A small town in the South. I miss it, but I could never live there as an adult. I was the only self-declared feminist in my graduating class...

3) Where is your favorite place to go out to dinner? I usually prefer eating out for lunch than for dinner. It's usually cheaper and more casual. Plus, I like cooking dinner with my friends, family, and/or boyfriend! If I'm going to a chain restaurant, I love Applebee's, IHOP, O'Charley's, Outback, etc. But I prefer going to local eateries whenever possible!

4) What is your "go to" meal...that one meal you love to make on the fly and is really easy for you? Does a peanut butter and jelly sandwich count? No? What about a bowl of cereal? No? Okay, then. I made this for lunch yesterday. I make two pieces of French toast (crack an egg into a bowl, mix in some soy milk, sprinkle some cinnamon; dip sliced whole wheat bread into the mixture; fry in butter), but then I use the French toast bread to make a peanut butter and honey sandwich. I also drizzle a little extra honey on top. If I have a banana, I slice half into the sandwich.

5) What's your biggest pet peeve about your significant other? The boyfriend is perfect. I don't know what you're talking about... Except for his aversion to vegetables... But at least we present a united front against onions!

6) What's your most proudest parenting moment? (If you don't have children, then name your own proudest moment) I'll meet you halfway! My proudest moment as an au pair was when Sam* stopped making gender generalizations. At the beginning of the year, he would make comments like, "I hate how girls don't like sports." After a few months, Sam carefully worded his statements like this, "In my experience, with the girls in the 5th grade at my school, I'm not speaking for all girls everywhere..." So proud.

7) Do you have any goals you are working towards? If yes, what are they? As the boyfriend so eloquently put it "Get hitched." But that's been a lifelong goal, and I see no point in rushing things just because we're at the age when everyone else is tying the knot. My other lifelong goal has been to become an internationally-renowned author. I'm slowly working on that... My three sets of memoirs (high school, college, two years in France) will probably come out first, and writing this blog helps me examine my life thematically, as opposed to just chronologically. From there, I'll publish my fiction. Feminist young adult retold fairy tales, most likely...

8) When you sleep in, what time constitutes "sleeping in"? On a weekday, sleeping in is til 10am or later. On the weekend, I didn't sleep in if I wake up before noon.

9) What is your daily make-up routine? Most of the time I don't wear make-up. If I do, I usually dab a little mineral foundation underneath my eyes, blend two mineral eyeshadow shades on my lids, and swipe on some lip gloss. The full routine is rare. Mineral foundation, mineral blush, three eyeshadow shades (usually mineral, but not always), mascara, lipstick, lip gloss.

10) What drinks are in your refrigerator right this very moment? Soy milk (for mac&cheese and hot cereal), Diet Coke with Lime, iced green tea lightly sweetened with honey, Mountain Dew (for the boyfriend).

11) And finally, what do you love the most about blogging? Connecting with people across the globe.

I'm passing this award onto:

1) Pearl at The Rarest Pearl, obviously. One of my online best friends.
2) Ashley Marie at Chickadette. I've promised her a guest post twice now, but I've barely had time (til this week) to write in my own blog... Soon, I swear!
3) Christina Ruth Johnson, a blog of all things beautiful to us artsy fantasy nerds. 
4) Classy in K.C. She wrote a guest post for me!
5) Dr. Juris at Eventual Lawyer. A feminist law blog? Yes!
6) Shoshanah at From L.A. to LA. Nerdy bibliophile blogging about wedding planning. So many creative posts! 
7) Lo at Our Crazy Ever After. I'm cheating here. She has over 200 followers. I don't care. She's wonderful. 
8) Katie at Read.Write.Love. I confess, I only skim her dog posts when I read her blog, but I enjoy everything else! 
9) Michelle at Southern Ambition. Honest, colorful, southern! 
10) Blass at Southern Love. One of my favorite people from twitter. Love her to pieces. 
11) Four awesome ladies at Victorian Swag. History, romance, and FEELINGS. 

I know at least one of these people in real life... But I'll never reveal who! #anonproblems

Questions for my fellow bloggers:

1) Why did you start blogging?
2) What is your favorite city in the world?
3) If you could relive one 24-hour period, what would it be and why?
4) What is your greatest triumph thus far?
5) What is your guilty pleasure?
6) How many of your real life friends read your blog?
7) Which Harry Potter novel is your favorite?
8) Beach or mountains?
9) Which celebrity should be your best friend?
10) Who is your favorite Disney princess?
11) What is your Halloween costume going to be this year? 

*Not his real name. Obviously.

You have read this article beauty / blog award / blog readers / diet coke with lime / feminism / marriage / meme / nanny / questions / real life / sexuality with the title real life. You can bookmark this page URL https://myclosetnadinesh.blogspot.com/2012/08/and-liebster-blog-award-goes-to-belle.html. Thanks!